Entenmann’s Pop’ems
Fun fact: Entenmann’s was founded by a German immigrant in Brooklyn… just like me!
Recommended T.O.E.: When you’re just hanging out with your hip music and art friends in Brooklyn, NY, enjoying the scene
“No plans of stopping ‘til I see cardboard.”
There’s something reassuring about a baked goods catch phrase, a mantra to spout as you munch. We all have fond memories of a kitchen table covered in waffle crumbs after a fist pumping “Leggo!” The “Entenmann’s Pop’ems” box dons the phrase “Everyone’s got a favorite!” Apparent nonsense considering the box has 40+ identical glazed donut holes. The only true meaning I can consider is that everyone has their favorite Entenmann’s treat, and in the vein of those words, I can safely say that the Pop’ems are mine, especially considering the alternatives. (Sadly, the Entenmann’s Sour Cream Chip and Nut Loaf does in fact exist.)
An Entenmann’s Pop’em is a a soft doughy donut hole coated with a glaze so boundless, I prefer to scrape off the top layer and bottle it for later enjoyment. It’s a perfect little snack when you want to eat way more of something than you planned on eating before. I’m currently 12 deep and have no plans of stopping ‘til I see cardboard.
Though the consumption is nothing short of a joy, there is a minor aesthetic choice some would view as questionable. The issue of edibles residue was brought to the mainstream’s attention with the debut of Cheetos in 1982. The backlash prompted future snack crafters to double dot their I’s and triple criss-cross their T’s to ensure clean hands post-munch. Perhaps Entenmann’s didn’t get the e-fax, or perhaps they simply don’t care (with over 100 variations of baked goods under their belt, they don’t have to), but regardless, five minutes with these puppies leaves one with a mean case of sticky hand syndrome. While digesting, steer clear of introductions, paged literature, and games of ‘hot potato.’
-Adam Schatz
