Homestyle Two Bite Brownies
Fun Fact: Two Bite Brownies are physically impossible to choke on.
Recommended T.O.E.: Critics will disagree, but after the salad and before the steak.
“What about the second bite, you might ask? What about that stain on your polo shirt, I’d respond.”
Sam’s Club may not be the best place to shoot a leisurely back 9 or eat screaming lobster rolls, but it is a club I like to visit for two reasons. Reason one, the first bite of a Homestyle Two Bite Brownie. Reason two, a sip of cold milk after I eat the first bite of a Homestyle Two Bite Brownie. What about the second bite, you might ask? What about that stain on your polo shirt, I’d respond.
Fans of TBBs will tell you that they’re just not two bite snacks. While this has been known to deter some hardassed snackers, I see it as a brilliantly postmodern meditation on the FDA’s serving size mandate. Sam’s Club, knowing full well that recommended serving portions are a joke, decided to poke fun at this by calling their brownies “two bite.” The lacy font on the bag or plastic container only furthers the irony.
While this deconstruction would have been enough to make Derrida choke on his Oatmeal Creme Pie, the brilliance doesn’t stop here. There are tons and tons of brands that make Two Bite Brownies, not just Homestyle via Sam’s Club, but everything from Entenmann’s to Whole Foods. And I have no idea which I’m eating most of the time.
But let’s forget about brands for a minute. Let’s actually forget everything we ever learned about snacks in school. Recipes differ slightly, but who cares, let’s just put one in our month.
The first (and only bite) is a melange of carefully cut flavors, flavored and cut carefully. Homestyle riffs expertly on its predecessor, the home baked brownie, and creates a product entirely its own. Beneath the crisped crust lie hints of chocolate, butter, and egg.
So in conclusion, Two Bite Brownies are delicious, but you’re going to need some academics to fully enjoy them. And if your dad asks where you got that plastic tin, just smile, and tell him you heard about a new type of bleach designed specifically to remove polo shirt stains.
August 12th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
i think it’s a legitimate question! i just had 14 bites, but more than 7 brown-ones.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
I think these little snack treats are super delicious. They are excellent as a little food gift for elderly friends, too. I am very interested in souce of supply and, also, others from Homestyle, particularly one that is carmel - maybe cookies instead of cupcakes.