Biscoff
Fun fact: Biscoff’s are disgusting
Recommended T.O.E.: When you need an in-flight tongue depressor
“The packaging decals were an aesthetician’s worst nightmare.”
At 6:15 this morning, I boarded a non-stop flight to Los Angeles and took my cramped seat, bleary eyed from a solid two hour slumber. I had snacked on a stale bagel in the terminal, and was (foolishly) hoping for something more substantive on the plane.
After a half an hour, the flight attendants rolled down the aisle, their carts filled with glorious snack boxes in every color of the rainbow.
One of United’s new “Quick Picks,” this one I called “The BRED Box.”
I was just about to get my paws on a prime green-stein, when I was asked for a five dollar bill. Panicking, I asked about the fresh breakfast meals, which I was told were seven dollars. One hand rubbed my eyes as the other rubbed my stomach, and suddenly, a Biscoff appeared on my tray table, thrown by an overzealous flight attendant on his way to the back of the bird.
Confused and excited, I ripped open the package and shoved the cookies in my mouth, one in each cheek pouch. I chewed them in a zig-zag fashion (each side of my mouth alternated in chewing a cookie). Sort of like a horse chewing its cud.
The shortbread taste was there, no doubt, but the dryness and packaging decals were an aesthetician’s worst nightmare. And most importantly, I was still fucking starving when I finished them. 200 Biscoffs cost about 26 dollars, so instead of spending 52 dollars on crappy cookies for the whole plane, what about just giving everyone a quarter back? If I had had a quarter, I could have nearly afforded something more useful, like a Cosmic Brownie.
-Benjamin Bernstein
August 26th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Those biscoffs don’t sound good at all. You must have been pretty desperate; even we wouldn’t eat them.