Sanrio Bubble Gum
Fun fact: SanrioDigital are hard at work on a massively multiplayer online roleplaying game, Hello Kitty Online
Recommended T.O.E.: The second time you take ecstasy in Japan
“Chalky and unpleasant.”
I bought three different flavors of Sanrio Bubble Gum for a dollar and fifty cents. I got probably two minutes of chewing in total before my mouth felt like it needed to be emptied (for those of you questioning why gum is being reviewed on a snack website, I swallowed). Gum is meant to be savored, and enjoyed even after the flavoring has worn off. A thirty-five cent pack of Juicy Fruit lasts me a week. Sanrio Bubble Gum, though, is horrible from beginning to end. The texture is chalky and the flavor’s artificial and unpleasant.
It scares me to think about the people who buy this stuff. A quick glance at the Wikipedia article titled “List of Sanrio Characters” gives us a frightening look into the world of these people. You’ll never hear me deny that Hello Kitty is a cute design, but the type of person who is interested in its and its friends’ fiction is sick. Sick.
The first flavor I tried was Cinnamoroll’s.
Cinnamoroll is a white puppy with long ears, blue eyes, and a plump and curly tail that resembles a cinnamon roll. He starred in his own anime movie which was released in Autumn 2007. Some people mistake Cinnamoroll for a rabbit because of his long ears and rabbit-like looks. Cinnamoroll was created in 2001.
It’s the worst of the bunch. I should have known from the start this stuff would be deceiving; it’s “blueberry” flavored, not cinnamon. And that thing is definitely a rabbit, I don’t care what the internet says.
The second was Frooliemew, who surprisingly is not listed on Wikipedia. Maybe Sanrio aficionados aren’t quite internet-from-the-early-00’s savvy. Fan sites, though, have taught me that “Mew,” as they call her, has a birthday. May 24. Fuck. Her gum is “strawberry” flavored, which is curious because her favorite food is blueberry scones. It tastes like cheap girls’ body wash smells.
And last, but far from least, is Chibimaru. His “kiwi fruit” gum is the only half-decent one of the bunch.
Chibimaru is a fictional puppy and one of the Sanrio characters. He was introduced to the world on February 2, 2003. He’s doing tricks as a hobby and is very curious. He spends time inside his owners bag and go to many places. He is one of three triplets, the name of his two siblings are Chidi-Maru & Chifi-Maru.
That is some terrifying shit right there.
-Zvi Finklestein




August 27th, 2008 at 1:46 am
Did you swallow each flavor?
August 27th, 2008 at 2:22 am
Separately then together, yes.
September 6th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Hello,
I usually have no problem with people using my photos, as long as they ask first. Stealing photos, however, is not nice.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Actually I really like sanrio bubble gum. It stays chewy for a very long time and does not get hard unlike other gum… say orbitz, etxra, every other kind available at the checkout. Plus the fruity flavors are good.
September 7th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Rosa –
We’re sorry that we didn’t ask for your photo use. If you give us your full name and website, we’ll put a credit up. If you want it removed completely, we can do that too.
-Ben
October 12th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Hi Ben. I know your sister. I also think it’s cool that there are more Skylabs in the world other than just me and my family. This is great. Maybe long lost relatives
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
looking forward for more information about this. thanks for sharing. Eugene
January 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
i actually quite like the gum, i was looking for it online then i stumbled upon this site.
i disagree, my favorite is cola by badtz maru.[;
March 21st, 2009 at 8:22 pm
Is there a way to become a content writer for the site?
March 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 am
Sorry, we stopped work on this site. But if we ever start it up again give us another holla.
September 19th, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Wow, I didn’t know some people hate this gum! I friggin LOVE all the flavors they are soooo yummy and amazing for blowing bubbles, not chalky at all. I buy them all the time
January 3rd, 2010 at 7:39 pm
Actually, I love Sanrio gum. Sure it’s kinda chalky at first, but it’s a soft gum. It doesn’t get hard to chew after a while like other gums do. Plus, the packaging is cute and I personally like the flavors. I haven’t had all of them yet, but the four or five flavors I have had were tasty!
February 6th, 2010 at 9:06 pm
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May 30th, 2010 at 9:47 am
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June 28th, 2010 at 5:52 am
Seriously Good post. I’ve got to express though that for games, I am still old school and love dungeons and dragons rpg, yep the first one. Which is your most loved?