Snack You Silly

Fun Fact: Coffee ingestion on average is about a third of that of tap water in North America and Europe
Recommended T.O.E.: Before 5pm, please

“The bathroom breaks they induce are a welcome break from the cubical.”

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Fun Fact: The material pop tarts are wrapped in will keep you alive in space if you wrap your entire body in it
Recommended T.O.E.: During North American Pop-Tart week

“I was hungry and they were there.”

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Fun Fact: Discontinued flavors of Jujubes include rose, mint, and lilac
Recommended T.O.E.: Right before getting your teeth professionally cleaned

“Food should not be this hard to eat.”

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Fun Fact: The currrent shape of Fruit Roll-Ups was inspired by a General Mills engineer sitting on the jon and deciding that Fruit Roll-Ups needed to be rolled up like toilet paper
Recommended TOE: When you’ve run out of real Fruit Roll-Ups

“We simply cannot and will not condone the molestation of snack formulas that aren’t broken.”

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Fun Fact: Burger King shares its surname with J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.”
Recommended TOE: Before, not after, a Purell High Five

“I know BK would prefer me not to compare their snack to Doritos, but I’m going to, because that’s my job.”

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