Snack You Silly

Fun fact: Biscoff’s are disgusting
Recommended T.O.E.: When you need an in-flight tongue depressor

“The packaging decals were an aesthetician’s worst nightmare.”

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Fun fact: Stacy, Minnesota, had a population of 1,278 people at the 2000 census, 722 fewer than the year the statistic was taken in
Recommended T.O.E.: During Listerine’s tax-free weekend

“A bourgeoisie snack, but hey, who’s counting?”

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Fun Fact: Jon Lovitz was the original voice of the red M&M
Recommended T.O.E.: The 1980’s, apparently

“As a critic, I’ve never felt more irrelevant.”

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Fun Fact: Two Bite Brownies are physically impossible to choke on.
Recommended T.O.E.: Critics will disagree, but after the salad and before the steak.

“What about the second bite, you might ask? What about that stain on your polo shirt, I’d respond.”

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As just another start-up snack food review blog, the SYS team spends 12-14 hours a day corresponding with snack food companies in hopes of garnering a coveted “whitelist” and chance for unlimited promos. Snack food companies are notorious and insufferable hard asses, but I wanted to point out the complete warmness in my correspondence with one kind soul, the venerable Michael Glokeler of Little Debbie in Collegedale, TN. The conversation is as enriching as it is ongoing, but for now, I’ve bolded fine examples of what we call in the business world “genuine professional courtesy.” Enjoy:

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It is with considerable sadness that I must announce the departure of one our best and most loyal writers, Wes Kaplan, who has worked tirelessly to make snack reviewing his priority in the last few days. A statement from his publicist explained the move.

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McCain USA’s new Appetizer Revolution “is all about thinking outside the ‘basket’ [sic, not box]. It’s a revolutionary opportunity to create menu magic with versatile, delicious products.” In the just released music video, McCain points out that his appetizer sales account for more than half of most restaurant sales. Also discussed in the video:

• fresh ideas
• applications across the menu
• practical, profitable solutions

Unfortunately we can’t embed the video in this post, why it’s not on YouTube is anyone’s guess. So visit this link and join the revolution!

Fun Fact: Burger King shares its surname with J.R.R. Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.”
Recommended TOE: Before, not after, a Purell High Five

“I know BK would prefer me not to compare their snack to Doritos, but I’m going to, because that’s my job.”

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