Snack You Silly

Fun Fact: Coffee ingestion on average is about a third of that of tap water in North America and Europe
Recommended T.O.E.: Before 5pm, please

“The bathroom breaks they induce are a welcome break from the cubical.”

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Fun Fact: The Every Burger is easy to steal if you don’t have money
Recommended T.O.E.: When real burgers just ain’t cutting it

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned through my years of snacking, it’s that people with dry mouths are idiots.”

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Fun fact: Little Caesar was actually 6’2″
Recommended T.O.E.: When in Rome

“A five-dollar large pizza can’t be quality food, right? Right!? Wrong.”

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Fun fact: Entenmann’s was founded by a German immigrant in Brooklyn… just like me!
Recommended T.O.E.: When you’re just hanging out with your hip music and art friends in Brooklyn, NY, enjoying the scene

“No plans of stopping ‘til I see cardboard.”

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Fun Fact: The Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart has the same amount of calories as a Ham sandwich from Subway
Recommended T.O.E.: During North American Pop-Tart week

“If you’ve had indigestion, don’t blame the Pop-Tart; it was your own fault.”

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Fun Fact: The material pop tarts are wrapped in will keep you alive in space if you wrap your entire body in it
Recommended T.O.E.: During North American Pop-Tart week

“I was hungry and they were there.”

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Fun Fact: Cheesy Bread and Cinna Stix were introduced simultaneously in 2001, the same year that Wikipedia was founded
Recommended T.O.E.: After the witching hour

“The future of food.”

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Fun Fact: Dispute over whether Bugles are more like the musical instrument or more like tornado funnels still rages on among snack food cognoscenti
Recommended T.O.E.: Beginning of summer or a cold winter day thinking of summer

“Like a triangle on the side of a tornado.”

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Fun Fact: If you throw this treat into the sky, Batman will drive past you within minutes, searching for a crime to interrupt
Recommended T.O.E.: As soon as you see it, and then months after that, you may have another

“It’s fuckin’ crazy big.’”

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Fun Fact: All beef?
Recommended TOE: After you drunkenly stumble upon the store

“As far as I know those things have been on those crusty rollers since the store was built.“

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